How to be the BEST version of YOU - Using 4 Key Areas

Kimberly Holmes talks to me today about the PIES of attraction. Kimberly shares how she has helped thousands of people transform their lives, overcome tough situations, and choose to focus on what they can control – their PIES. PIES is an acronym for the 4 areas of attraction: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual Attraction.

(00:29) Kimberly talks a bit about the two organizations she runs: Marriage Helper, that help couples who are struggling, many of which include divorce, and PIES University which teaches concepts to people, whether they’re in a relationship or not, but especially after a relationship ends in order to become their best self again, to get their self-esteem back to realize that they are worthy, they are loved.

(03:13) We talk about how women especially tend to lose themselves in relationships.

(05:05) Kimberly walks us through the background and acronym of PIES. And it all started by discovering there are four steps to falling in love, the first of which is attraction.

(05:15) Physical attraction: the physical doesn’t have as much to do with how you look as how you feel inside. Do I feel good in my body or do I have pain? Do I have digestive issues? Do I have sleep problems? Am I stressed out?

(06:40) Intellectual attraction, when it comes to thinking about us as an individual has to do with what are we learning? What are we continuing to expand our mind on? You know, are we reading? Are we listening to podcasts? Are are you, you know, maybe you’re wanting to finish a degree that you’ve started, but never, never finished.

(8:05) Emotional attraction: if I am not able to treat myself with my thoughts, with my actions, the grace, I give towards myself in a way that evokes positive emotions within me, then I’m stuck in a body and a mind with a person that I don’t like to be around because of the things I’m saying to myself. But it’s the same with how we act towards other people.

(10:10) Spiritual attraction: beliefs and values. It doesn’t necessarily have to do with religion. Although religion has a huge influence on the beliefs and values that we have, but our beliefs and values also come from childhood, you know, experiences that we’ve had throughout life.

(12:27) How does someone work through the PIES? Kimberly explains this process.

(14:38) Can we use the PIES to find a partner? Kimberly says yes but cautions focusing on this as your reason for doing the work.