You’ve got too much on your plate as is as a single mom. Here are 8 things to quit stressing about as a single mom today! Start letting it go today.
Time to Quit Stressin’ about what don’t need Stressin’
You’ve got too much on your plate already as a single mom.
You take care of the kids, homework, school, and you work. You take care of anything that breaks down in the house or the car.
You take care of the lawn, you might do boy stuff that you are clueless about, you take care of the money and budget, you are responsible for the emotional needs of your children.
I could go on…but this is getting depressing. And you already know what you have to do. Let’s talk about what you don’t have to stress about. What can you really let go?
8 things to quit stressing about as a single mom
Worrying about your child when at their dad’s
This is a big one! Many moms want to talk to their children over the weekend when they drop them off at their dad’s house. They send all kinds of instructions about medications or bedtime.
Just let your child be.
I know it can be hard but if you are constantly interfering it will always be harder for both of you and neither of you will ever be able to let the weekends come and go.
The constant communication also strains your relationship with your child’s father when it seems to him that you don’t trust him. You may not trust him, but calling or texting doesn’t help. This is something you don’t have control over.
I have witnessed (and experienced) many others in this situation and the most successful single moms are those who simply let their children spend time with their father for the weekend without interference.
The awesome sports mom
If sports are totally your jam, then more power to you. This is for the rest of us.
You never get a rest. During those sporting practices, chill out on your phone if you want to. Who really cares what other moms think? They don’t know your life.
If you want to sit in your car and read a book, do it. If you don’t want to sign up for treats, trust me, a ton of other parents will do it and they will have a ton of rules and you won’t get it right anyway.
Paying bills all the time
Okay, you can’t really quit paying your bills. But what you can do is set almost all of them up on auto-pay. This relieves an enormous pressure on you.
If you are on a fixed income there’s really no reason not to set your fixed expenses up on auto-pay. If you have a variable income, you still have fixed expenses that can be set up.
Another option is to set up your bills to auto-pay to one credit card that you designate to bills only. Then each month pay that credit card off. This way you only have one bill to pay each month instead of a dozen.
This relieves stress in many ways: you aren’t thinking about money constantly, you don’t risk possibly forgetting to pay a bill.
A clean house
A clean house was one of the first things I let go when I divorced.
Since I always loved crafts but hated getting my stuff out just to put it away, I made my front living room my craft room. This meant it was always messy and it was the first thing people saw when they came over.
I decided I didn’t care. I traded a clean home for joy. I traded cleaning for crafting.
When I didn’t have my kids on the weekends, I could spend my free time right in my living room with my crafts and not worry about anyone telling me to clean it up. When someone came over, I told them it was my craft room.
Not once did someone roll their eyes. Instead, each person exclaimed they wished they could do the same.
Who cares what other people think about the inside of my home? I’m not trying to sell it and I’m the one living there, not them.
Making friends with all your kids’ moms
I think you can make great friends with your kids’ moms.
In fact, I have a couple of great friends as a result of my children’s moms. I don’t‘ discount this.
On the other hand, don’t feel as though you have to get to know each parent to the point of friendship. Get to know them well enough so that you feel comfortable leaving your child with them.
Other people’s opinions of how you raise your children.
This is a big one because everyone has an opinion about you should raise your kids.
Especially if you are single, divorced, co-parenting, or widowed.
Every church, website, expert, or family member from every side, friend, not-friend, etc has a story as to why you should xyz for your child.
Argh – exhausting!
The bottom line is that only you know your child and their specific needs. Only you intimately understand the situation from every angle.
Yes, you should seek advice from those you trust and get a wide variety of ideas and take into account how other family members are affected by your decisions but the bottom line is that you are the mother.
God made you the mother of your child for a reason.
Yes, we all make mistakes in parenting but we re-correct and learn. It’s what makes us a better parent and better suited to make future decisions for our own child.
Only you see the effects of each decision on your child. So naturally only you can make the next best decision. No one else.
Block out the noise and be the mom you were meant to be.
We don’t bother with family dinners at my house.
I know, I know.
I can almost hear you saying: Isn’t there a ton of research toting how this is the number one thing you should keep at all costs? If you don’t have a family dinner then your teenagers will end up in jail?
But somehow since I quit the stress of family dinners, my home has gone from out of control to almost serene.
Now we only sit down as a family when we go out to eat (because we have no choice) or when one of my children cooks dinner. Otherwise, it is added stress on me.
I’ve learned if I’m yelling and stressed out, it’s a bad ending.
Maybe you love family dinners. The point here isn’t to convince you to stop family dinners but instead to get you to think about the one thing that every expert says you have to do to raise happy kids but it stresses you out.
I challenge you to let it go.
You’re the momma of your household, not those “experts”.
PTA/Room Parent/School Trips
Most schools have plenty of parents or that one mom, that is all over this stuff. This means you can just let her. Yes, this is your ticket to take one thing off of your plate.
I’ve found I can barely do anything right at any of these anyway. One year I brought pop for a school party and a letter was sent out to all the moms for the next party saying a slushy machine was being brought in for the next party because whoever brought pop last time caused too many spills and sticky floors. Like a slushy machine won’t be sticky.
So, I decided I was done. And it was wonderful.
Some moms live for this stuff, so I’m going to let them live.
I live for quiet times at home for my kids. I am going to focus my energy there and not spread myself thin.
Perhaps you’re the opposite? That’s great because I need you so I can skip out on those school parties!
Your Turn: What Should You Quit Stressing Over?
Your turn. Make your own list of things to Stop Stressing About. Print out this worksheet from the Single Mom Toolbox and hang it up where you can see it.
Write down your top 8 things you will stop stressing about today! It can be big or small.